One of the most difficult lessons in life can be how to get along with other people. We perceive things differently, we think differently, we have different ways of doing things. We think that we know best. Getting along with one another can be difficult even for the followers of Christ. In his inspired letter to the followers of Christ at Philippi, the Apostle Paul tells us how to overcome our differences so that we can live harmony. In chapter 4, verses 2 through 3 he writes, “I exhort Euodia, and I exhort Syntyche, to think the same way in the Lord. Yes, I beg you also, true yokefellow, help these women, for they labored with me in the Good News, with Clement also, and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life.”
The first step in getting along with a fellow believer is to recognize that we have much in common. Paul urges Euodia and Syntyche to agree in the Lord. Both of these women were followers of Christ. If Christ is our Lord, then we do not belong to ourselves. We should be able to set aside our own desires in deference to His will. In addition, Paul writes that both of these women had helped him in spreading the gospel. When we share the same goal, we should be able to cooperate in achieving it. The names of these women were also in the “book of life.” This is a reference to the judgment, when we will stand before God to give an account for what we have done. According to Scripture, those whose names are not found in the “book of life” will be thrown into hell. (Revelation 20:12-15) It is important to note that our names are not written in the “book of life” because of righteous acts which we perform, but because of putting our faith in Jesus Christ. In any case, if we are going to spend eternity with someone, we ought to be able to get along with him or her now. There is no shame in admitting, however, that we are not always capable, on our own, of getting along with someone. Sometimes we need help. This is why Paul asked that aid be given to these two ladies. One of the reasons that the followers of Christ regularly gather together is to encourage and help one another.
It is one thing to say that we should get along together and quite another to actually be reconciled. What, then, are the keys to reconciliation? In verses 4 through 9 Paul writes, “Rejoice in the Lord always! Again I will say, “Rejoice!” Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand. In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever things are true, whatever things are honorable, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report; if there is any virtue, and if there is any praise, think about these things. The things which you learned, received, heard, and saw in me: do these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”
In this passage, Paul gives several practical instructions which will help the followers of Christ to be reconciled and to get along with one another. The first of these instructions is to rejoice. This is a repetition of the instruction he had already given in chapter 3, verse 1. Throughout this letter Paul has stressed the importance of joy. Perhaps one reason is that it is very difficult to be angry with someone or to become discouraged while you are full of joy. Notice, however, that the joy Paul is talking about is joy in the Lord. When we think about the wonderful things God has done for us, and is doing for us, in Christ it puts the problems and annoyances of this life into perspective.
Another thing Paul instructs is to “let your gentleness be known to all.” (4:5) The word which is translated ‘gentleness’ refers to having the kind of spirit which is gracious and reasonable; the kind of spirit which does not demand rights, but is willing to concede them. It is easier to get along with other people when we are willing to put their desires above our own. If we were to display this kind of spirit, however, wouldn’t people take advantage of us? Paul dispels this concern by reminding his readers that, “The Lord is at hand.” (4:5) Christ is not only watching what is going on, but is also there to comfort, guide, protect and to fight on our behalf. Since Christ is near, we can rest assured that He will see that our rights are safe-guarded. We need not be concerned.
A third thing Paul instructs is, “In nothing be anxious…” (4:6) Often, we become ill-tempered when we are anxious and full of worry. Then, we lash out at others. At first, it may seem as though Paul has given an impossible command. How can anyone stop being anxious? Paul gives the answer when he writes that we should take everything to God in prayer. It can be said that anxiety is actually a lack of faith. If we belong to God; if we believe that He loves us; if we believe that He is all-powerful, then we should also have confidence that God will take care of us through whatever problems we are facing. As the Apostle Peter writes in another Scripture, “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7 NIV) When we bring our troubles to God in prayer, we are turning control over to Him. There is, however, an important condition. Paul writes that we are to present our requests to God with thanksgiving. (4:6) Why should God do more for us if we are not thankful for what He has already done for us? When we bring our problems to God with thankful hearts, then He will guard our hearts and minds with His peace. (4:7)
The next key to living in harmony with other people is to be careful what we think about. We will mention only 3 of the qualities Paul lists. He writes that we should think about whatever is true. (4:8) Often we start to think ill of someone only to find out that what we have been told about them is not true, or that we do not have all the facts. Paul says to think about what is just (NIV “right”). There are many things which are not our business. It will help us get along with others if we refrain from poking our noses into places they don’t belong. Paul writes that we should think about things which are lovely. It other words, we are not to think about things which will result in bitterness or hostility. Paul sums up by saying that our thoughts should be about those things which are excellent and praiseworthy. If we are always thinking about what is good in others, it will be much easier to live in harmony with them.
There is another key to living in agreement with each other. In chapter 3, verse 17, Paul had instructed those to whom he is writing to follow his own example. In verse 9 of chapter four he instructs the followers of Christ to not only follow his example, but also to put into practice the things he has taught. The result of putting these things into practice is that the God of peace will be with us. If we do not have peace, whether with God or with other people, we need to ask ourselves whether we are being obedient to the teaching and the example of the Apostles.