No one likes pain. In fact we will often go to great lengths to avoid it. Many times we will even put off taking care of problems because we are afraid that dealing with them will cause us pain.
But the truth is that we all experience pain and suffering. It is an unavoidable part of life. Every one of us has wounds – some which are visible to all, others which only we know about.
What causes wounds? Some wounds are caused by accidents. We trip and fall. The knife slips while we are cutting vegetables. We drop a heavy object on our foot. Though wounds like this may be serious and very painful, they usually do not cause us us much emotional or spiritual distress. They are merely a part of living, and we accept that such things are inevitable.
A more serious type of wound results from bad decisions or choices we have made. Our injury is our own fault, a consequence of our actions. While such wounds can fill us with regret, “If only I had chosen to do something else!”, our remorse is directed towards ourself. The experience will, hopefully, make us wiser.
However, it is harder to deal with the wounds caused by others. When someone inflicts a wound upon us, whether it is physical or emotional, we tend to view that person as an enemy. “He deliberately intended to injure me!” In these cases we must not only deal with the pain of the wound itself, but we must also deal with our feelings toward the other person. Sometimes the emotional anguish is even worse than the physical pain the other person inflicted. If we allow our feelings to run unchecked, they can fester and turn into hatred and a lust for vengeance. We allow our wounds to poison our spirits. By concentrating on the wrong the other person has done to us, we end up hurting ourselves far more than the other person ever did.
Even a friend can wound us. Sometimes this is unintentional. Just as when soldiers sometimes fire at an enemy and hit their own comrades by mistake, our friend did not intend to hurt us. We were not the target. Perhaps he did not intend to harm anyone. We merely happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Our friend might not even realize that he injured us.
When we know that someone did not intend to wound us, it is easier to forgive. But it can be more difficult when someone we consider our friend wounds us. It is tempting to think that he has betrayed us. He has destroyed our friendship. However, before we become angry with our friend, we need to ask ourself why he wounded us. The wounds he inflicted on us may actually be the proof of his friendship. He wounded us not because he hates us or wanted to cause us harm, but because he loves. He did it for our benefit. Something needs to change in our life and the only way to bring about that change was to wound us. The Bible says, “Better is open rebuke than hidden love. The kisses of an enemy may be profuse, but faithful are the wounds of a friend.” (Proverbs 27:5-6 NIV)
Our friend may be like the skilled doctor who has to cause pain in order to cure an illness. The surgeon knows that the only way to remove the cancer which is destroying our life is to cut it out. He has to wound in order to heal.
The greatest friend we will ever have is Jesus. He likened Himself to a physician (Matthew 9:12, Mark 2:17, Luke 5:31). He is able to heal the worst disease of all – that of sin. Yet, in order to do so, He often has to wound. He has to drain the abscesses of hate, greed and self-righteousness. In fact, our disease is so bad that He has to kill us in order to resurrect us as a new person, “…if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him.” (Romans 6:8 NIV)
Living for Christ is not easy. But do not turn away from Him because following Him is painful. He is your friend and the wounds He inflicts are faithful.